What to eat if you’re trying to ruin your outfit.
So, you’re in a fun mood.
Maybe you have a bit of extra cash laying around. Maybe you’re making a funny Youtube video. Maybe you’re just reckless.
But you’ve decided to completely ruin your outfit beyond repair. We here at Williams Cleaners certainly don’t recommend doing so. But in our experience, here’s what to order if you really want some uncleanable clothes.
Start by finding a restaurant you don’t frequent or particularly love, because you may end up being asked to not return. Also, this is an activity better done alone. No need to bring a date.
Order a simple glass of water to drink. You’re wearing silk pants, right? Great! Go ahead and spill some water in your lap. It’s cold, yes, but letting it soak that silk will lead to permanent moisture stains, which are especially unsightly in certain regions of the pants.
Make sure you’re wearing your grandpa’s wool suit jacket, too. Then you can get a two-for-one on the moisture stains.
Time for the appetizers! Get something spicy, with yellow curry sauce. Tasty stuff, and it’s perfect for permanently staining your outfit, so leave those napkins unused and dig in like you haven’t eaten in days. Use your hands!
We’d like to emphasize Williams Cleaners doesn’t recommend or endorse doing this. We care very much about your clothes.
Time to order your main dish. Go for the hamburger, but give the waiter special instructions—hold everything except for the mustard. Order extra mustard, and then order an extra mustard cup on the side. When the burger comes, slather it up with mustard galore and dig in. Not only is the yellow condiment notably hard to get out of clothes, it’s very low in calories.
Beyond that, there isn’t much else you can do that professionals at Williams Cleaners can’t fix. That’s because we use tried-and-true methods to get your clothes clean. Our soft-washing process is much gentler on your clothes, easing the stains out. Our chemical cleaning can do the rest. Unfortunately, mustard is stubborn. So load up on it.
And there’s you have it! The fully un-endorsed guide to ruining your clothes. We hope you don’t try this, and instead take care of your clothes. We’re here to help you do just that.